Stick Them Back

10.03 pm

We broke up. No words he said but I knew that he wanted it. I hate this u know. I just don’t want it to be like this.. I hate the way you’ve made me feel  and I’m sick pretending that it doesn’t hurt me because it does. I thought you are different but you are same with another boy outside. Damn!
 I still remember when you sang in the spring between the grass and flowers. I remember  your face under the sun, it was sparkling like the sea. But now you left me.

1.05 am

Hold me tight Tod. I know you are not serious with you said. You did it Tod you stick the pieces of my heart  again.
Under my window you brought your guitar and sang a song for me
 I would not forget your way for  showed of feel as penitent as, did not know why but I always trust. you will always take care of me more than this. Break or at least I thought of you wish that only feel the doubt.  No words mean you only require to think of us.
I only wish to hold your hand until summer or after moment you come from your ritual summer. Annoyed sometimes during summer without you. What always you did ?
 But I understand, enough understand.
 Then he just held my hand at least until this midnight and end of this spring.

*to be continued*

Save My Life

 2 jan '09>7.30pm

I knew that was something different with Tod that night. He looked more charming whereas he just wearing jeans, red shirt, n jacket. I often saw him like that but I don't know how, he looked totally charming. What's wrong with me?

We arrived in Robin's place.Oh God! I thought that it was a younger party but it was like Robin's family party.

" It's tradition."said Robin." My family always celebrate new year with come together, and we made it after new year eve."he continue

"Why?"
" Because some members of my family like hang out with their friends in new year eve. So,my grandmother decided to made it after new year eve n that mean at the second night,"
Robin observed me.
" Is it weird ?" he asked me
" Of course not. I'm Lovin it."

Our conversation were over. Tod went to saw Robin's parents and at the same time I was looking arround.
Some people chatted, drunk, toasted barbeque, 'n some kids running arrounds made me headache. So, I decided to sat near the toaster beside robin's uncle who toasted the meats.

I don't know how, suddenly the toaster flied over me 'n almost fell on me. I just closed my eyes 'n hope that would be fine. But I didn't feel the toasted fall on me. I just heard Tod's breath in my neck. I opened my eyes. Tod on me, saved my life but his right arm burned.
Robin's family said sorry for that accident. I didn't care bout them I just want to saw Tod.

I got in the house after the doctor left. His right arm was bandage till elbow.
I hug him.

" Are you alright ?" said me worry.
" See! I can pinch your cheek."his joke.
" But you can't do something that your right hand do. It was my fault."
I wanted smiled but I instead cried
" Just for a week darlene. It's ok it will be normal then. And it's not your fault. It just accident ok? I can't forgive myself if it was you. I don't want you hurt."
" You can be my right hand if you want."
" Really?"
" So you must stay in my house for a week..."he smiled
" No problem..as long your mom at home too.."
I stopped cried' n smiled
" You know that I like see your smile better than your cry."
He hugs me deep
" By the way, thank's Tod."
" For what?"
" For safe my life again."

He smiled 'n then kissed me warmly

" Oh my God!!Tod.!your nose are bleeding!!!!"


*to be continued*

Lunch Time

First day at '09

We met in the Collin's lunch, a cafe in the corner of the street. That is one of our favorite places. Tod was reading a book when I came. He smiled at me and I smiled back at him. I sat in front of him. He stroked my cheek softly. Then he asked what I felt sleepy and want to go back sleep. I said not. How come. I missed him even just 4 hours didn't meet him. Met him was drug for me. I didn't know why?but maybe I'm addicted of him.

After two cups of latte and two plates of smoky beef had served, Tod invited me to go to his friend's new year party. Firstly I refused him because I must accomplished my paper. But he offered to help me finished my paper.

" Not for this time, Tod." I hold his hand. " You always help me to accomplished my homework. It makes me look dumb."

He just smiled.

" Ok. How if I just help you type? You know that Robin is my best friend and he will be angry if I don't come."
" Come alone is not big trouble, right?"
" It will. If u don't wanna accompany me I won't come."

His cotton compulsion made me couldn't refuse him anymore.

" But just type. Oke?!!"
" Yes ma'am"

He smiled won.

As usual he toke me home with his brown van. He drew my coat to my body. He had me to take a rest and he would picked me up at 4 o'clock for accomplished my paper in his house. Then he kissed my brow. Kind and always understand me. He is too perfect to me. ^^

*to be continue*

Note this !!

Saying sorry first which is MENGALAH bukan berarti KALAH. 

Cheers!!! \^_^/

23 Oktober 2011

I thought that love is easy but I’m wrong. I thought I can start it with every girl that I met or the girls around me but it seems that God just made me a good person enough that make me just love one person in the rest of my life. I thought that I can forget her because I knew that she doesn’t love me as a men, she just love me as a best friend.

Badly I don’t know how to erase this feeling or make myself used only with you as a friend. 

You maybe think that I’m the weirdest guy ever. I don’t mind. Because I know sometimes love makes us weird even stupid. 

So, I turned off my phone. Rode my car anywhere it brought me, unconciously came at a place with a stranger. There just a hill like floors upper the town with the lights. Such a perfect romantic place but she weren’t here. 

At that time one flash light surprised me. A girl with a polaroid in her hand smiled at me. I don’t know it would be a good sign for me or not but I didn’t want to loose any chance so, I smiled back at her. Could she change my mind?

I Know Him So Well by Susan Boyle

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally  

Perfect situations must go wrong 

But this has never yet prevented me  

Wanting far too much 

For far too long

Looking back

  I could have played it differently  

Won a few more moments 

Who can tell But it took time to understand the man 

Now at least I know I know him well
Wasn't it good? (Oh so good) 

Wasn't he fine? (Oh so fine) 

Isn't it madness He can't be mine? 

But in the end 

He needs a little bit 

More than me  

More security 

He needs his fantasy and freedom 

I know him so well

No-one in your life is with you constantly 

No-one is completely on your side  

And though I'd move my world to be with him 

Still the gap between us is too wide

 
Looking back (Looking back) 

I could have played it differently
(I could have played it some other way)

  Learned about the man 

Before I fell (I was just a little careless)  

But I was ever so much younger then (Maybe so much younger then) 

Now at least I know 

I know him well

 
Wasn't it good? (Oh so good)  

Wasn't he fine? (Oh so fine) 

Isn't it madness  

He won't be mine?

Didn't I know? 

How it would go 

  If I knew from the start 

Why am I falling apart?

Wasn't it good

  Wasn't he fine? 

Isn't it madness 

He won't be mine?

But in the end 

He needs a little bit 

More than me  

More security 

He needs his fantasy and freedom 

I know him so well 

It took time to understand him
I know him so well.

New Year 2012

Happy New Year 2012 !!

In the end of the year I felt so glad and got undescription feeling. ^_^

Let's check what I've got this year...

uhmmm...htinking

uhmmmm..thinking

I think A LOT but not very big deals, I mean like little things. 

I've got a lot, bad or good, thanks to God -Allah SWT for giving me all those things. If they were a bad things maybe I should do something better in this year that make me will get more good things. I've learned much bout yesterday so, it's time to make a new progress . I don't wanna make a checklist bout that but just let it happen and make them as my surprise as what I do. 

So, should we be a new us in the new year?? I think you knew the answer.