We Should Met Under the Red Leaves but...

01.25 pm

Early fall, when the leaves turn into red.

Most of them will run trough it. Curse, cry, or whatever it is to make that fawkin jerk who they call boyfriend get lesson from what he's doing right in front of his girl's eyes, kissing a girl who they don't know and how slut she is in a place that should be a place where they should kiss.

But I stoned, standing between the winds fall watching them in the slow motion move make that scene recording in my mind clearly. I do not run, I do not cry, I do not curse, or even slap both of them, go ask what the hell are they doing or just say how it makes my heart hurts. 

I turn around as fast as I wink that ruin of my desire that wanna meet him so much after he spent his summer disappear in the ocean of the world sweat. 

That place should a place we meet like you said in your last mail. Does one season can change all those feelings that we built even I know it's not long, but we have each other at least three seasons and just one season can ruin everything??

I'm stupid and just run home. 

02.02 am

There should be a reason right? For all those things? All those things that I watched like in worst romantic movie.

04.45 am

I have to sleep because I know I can't handle it then in class this morning  but every time I close my eyes, that slow motion scene playing in my mind. I don't even have any delete button in my mind. I f it exist or there is someone who will sell I'm willing to buy it with the rest of my savings. 


I start to not thinking about that but my phone rings and I see his name on screen. I know I wish a reason from him but I prefer turn my phone off and try to sleep again - still with that slow motion scene playing of the rest night before sun is up. 

*to be continued*

Early Summer

I didn’t drove him to the airport, I even know if he didn’t like I bother the moment  with his backpack friends. Go to Barcelona is great choice in summer. I wish I could with him but Tod always tell that every year during summer he always go with his backpack friends. Although this is the third time. So, during this summer I’ll take part time job. I want fill my holiday with useful things.

11.00 am

I still remember his smell last night.  He was like a cup of hot chocolate. Even I can smell him like he were here one minute ago. It doesn’t want to go from my head.

So, last night like as usual he picked me up. We went to his house for dinner. His mother invited me.

After dinner we just sat in house terrace. He smiled to me.

“ What’s the matter?”

“ Nothing.”

“ Don’t lie..”

“ I'm just happy can be with you now,”

“ Oh Tod, can you stop praising of me. Us.”

“ No. Until one thing.”he laugh

“ What is that?”

“ I’m gone.”

“ You just going during this summer, not forever.”

“ I wish”

“ Don’t worry. Everything will be alright.”

“ Yeah. You right. What I have to worry about. Here !”

He hugged me in her chest right under his chin, so that I could hear his heart beating. I told you I could smell him,like a cup of hot chocolate in the morning. Once again,hold me tightly Tod!!!

Once week later

He called me last night after a week he didn’t tell me what he did, how his life there, last night it answered every question in my head. Do you know that I’m very miss you and so empty right here, in my heart.

He told me that Barcelona was a great country

He sent me a his picture there

He told me that he always enjoy there

He went to many places

He bought some handy crafts for me

Then

I told him that I'm fine here

I told him that our town like the same before he gone

I told him that I have summer job

It was silent for some minutes until..

He told me that he missed me more than I know..

Yeah..I do..



*to be continue*

Stick Them Back

10.03 pm

We broke up. No words he said but I knew that he wanted it. I hate this u know. I just don’t want it to be like this.. I hate the way you’ve made me feel  and I’m sick pretending that it doesn’t hurt me because it does. I thought you are different but you are same with another boy outside. Damn!
 I still remember when you sang in the spring between the grass and flowers. I remember  your face under the sun, it was sparkling like the sea. But now you left me.

1.05 am

Hold me tight Tod. I know you are not serious with you said. You did it Tod you stick the pieces of my heart  again.
Under my window you brought your guitar and sang a song for me
 I would not forget your way for  showed of feel as penitent as, did not know why but I always trust. you will always take care of me more than this. Break or at least I thought of you wish that only feel the doubt.  No words mean you only require to think of us.
I only wish to hold your hand until summer or after moment you come from your ritual summer. Annoyed sometimes during summer without you. What always you did ?
 But I understand, enough understand.
 Then he just held my hand at least until this midnight and end of this spring.

*to be continued*

Save My Life

 2 jan '09>7.30pm

I knew that was something different with Tod that night. He looked more charming whereas he just wearing jeans, red shirt, n jacket. I often saw him like that but I don't know how, he looked totally charming. What's wrong with me?

We arrived in Robin's place.Oh God! I thought that it was a younger party but it was like Robin's family party.

" It's tradition."said Robin." My family always celebrate new year with come together, and we made it after new year eve."he continue

"Why?"
" Because some members of my family like hang out with their friends in new year eve. So,my grandmother decided to made it after new year eve n that mean at the second night,"
Robin observed me.
" Is it weird ?" he asked me
" Of course not. I'm Lovin it."

Our conversation were over. Tod went to saw Robin's parents and at the same time I was looking arround.
Some people chatted, drunk, toasted barbeque, 'n some kids running arrounds made me headache. So, I decided to sat near the toaster beside robin's uncle who toasted the meats.

I don't know how, suddenly the toaster flied over me 'n almost fell on me. I just closed my eyes 'n hope that would be fine. But I didn't feel the toasted fall on me. I just heard Tod's breath in my neck. I opened my eyes. Tod on me, saved my life but his right arm burned.
Robin's family said sorry for that accident. I didn't care bout them I just want to saw Tod.

I got in the house after the doctor left. His right arm was bandage till elbow.
I hug him.

" Are you alright ?" said me worry.
" See! I can pinch your cheek."his joke.
" But you can't do something that your right hand do. It was my fault."
I wanted smiled but I instead cried
" Just for a week darlene. It's ok it will be normal then. And it's not your fault. It just accident ok? I can't forgive myself if it was you. I don't want you hurt."
" You can be my right hand if you want."
" Really?"
" So you must stay in my house for a week..."he smiled
" No problem..as long your mom at home too.."
I stopped cried' n smiled
" You know that I like see your smile better than your cry."
He hugs me deep
" By the way, thank's Tod."
" For what?"
" For safe my life again."

He smiled 'n then kissed me warmly

" Oh my God!!Tod.!your nose are bleeding!!!!"


*to be continued*

Lunch Time

First day at '09

We met in the Collin's lunch, a cafe in the corner of the street. That is one of our favorite places. Tod was reading a book when I came. He smiled at me and I smiled back at him. I sat in front of him. He stroked my cheek softly. Then he asked what I felt sleepy and want to go back sleep. I said not. How come. I missed him even just 4 hours didn't meet him. Met him was drug for me. I didn't know why?but maybe I'm addicted of him.

After two cups of latte and two plates of smoky beef had served, Tod invited me to go to his friend's new year party. Firstly I refused him because I must accomplished my paper. But he offered to help me finished my paper.

" Not for this time, Tod." I hold his hand. " You always help me to accomplished my homework. It makes me look dumb."

He just smiled.

" Ok. How if I just help you type? You know that Robin is my best friend and he will be angry if I don't come."
" Come alone is not big trouble, right?"
" It will. If u don't wanna accompany me I won't come."

His cotton compulsion made me couldn't refuse him anymore.

" But just type. Oke?!!"
" Yes ma'am"

He smiled won.

As usual he toke me home with his brown van. He drew my coat to my body. He had me to take a rest and he would picked me up at 4 o'clock for accomplished my paper in his house. Then he kissed my brow. Kind and always understand me. He is too perfect to me. ^^

*to be continue*

New Year's Eve 2008

Winter

So, in the new year's eve Tod let me to the click five' concert music. He knew that I'm their biggest fan. But we just one hour there. Tod said that he had surprise for me. I was disappointed but I couldn't refuse him.

He let me to the his friend's rooftop. And guess what did he served for me there?
A table 'n two chairs n lampions around them. He knew how to made me impressed. Finally my disappointed gone away.

We were dinner although just a peperoni pizza 'n a coke. Tod said that he loved me so much n I said that I loved him too.

Right 00.00 o'clock the fireworks all the town flamed, made the romantic atmosphere to go up. He took my hand 'n smiled.

After that, he asked me dance but I thought how? There was no music but then suddenly he gave his left ipod's headset 'n wore it to my ear. A soft melody brought us to a pretty dance.
"Happy new year, darlene",he whispered to me. 

I wouldn't forget what he said in all of my life. Once again, he worked out made me impressed.

We stoped dance 'n toke a break. We sat in the edge of apartment to saw the town under our feet. I leant to his shoulder. Started to talk 'bout everythings that he didn't know from myself.
Tod didn't want to lost from me. He told me the other side of him that I've never known before. We enjoyed to talk till we weren't aware that an orange line in the sky ready for appear as the first sun in a new year.

" It's so beautiful", I said
" Ya..have you remember when you came here for the first time?"
" I've never forget that! How they tried to touched me. It was terrible."
" You looked so angry"
" Of course. They like didn't have an attitude, sir."
" As new comer, you are bad."
" Yeah I know but I just kept myself 'n my eastern side."
" Sure..your eastern side..but they have weatern side babe..."
I hit his chest softly. He smiled.
" And then I came as a hero."he said proudly
" Not Tod. You came as my life guard. You came 'n took me keep away from them."
" Why you didn't angry when I was holding your hand? It means that I touched you."
" I don't know. I felt that I trust you."
" How if your feeling was wrong?"
" But it's not. And I always know that."
He smiled. The sweetest smile which showed his dimple.

Tod take me to my dorm with his brown van. He said good bye after touched my lips with his lips , and made an appointment would meet me at lunch time.

*to be continued*